Date: Thursday 27th December 2012
Route: WP, Hoo Meavy, Brisworthy, Ringmoor Down, Gutter Tor, Norsworthy, Reservoir loop, Home.
Riders: Keith, Paul, Alun, Stephen & Gidon
Depart WP: 09:35
Arrive Home: 12:00
Distance: 14 miles
Weather: Wet & windy

Well, all I can say is that it's a good job Daranee is a doctor as its going to save Stephen the embarrassment of having to drop his trolley's and bend over in Yelverton Health Center!

Five of us set of on a low route due to the fact that, God forbid, there was the slight chance of a drop of rain. Alun led us off on a rarely used track down through Chub Tor to the bottom of Clearbrook. There are a couple of reasons why it's rarely used, it's very narrow and very muddy. Always good to take a different route though. We then decided to climb the tarmac up to Greenwell. This little test was where The Meister's predicament first became apparent. He quite clearly had a very bad case of what can only be described as "foaming ring".

My first thought was that he had received a new extremely comfortable and padded saddle for Christmas and this had started to foam up having got wet for the first time. The good news for The Meister was that he was completely unaware of this phenomenon that the other four of us were witnessing. What we were seeing, if you hadn't guessed by now was alarming amounts of white froth emanating from the great mans backside. Other theories were suggested as we caught our breath and discussed our options.

We set off at a very sedate pace for Ringmoor Cottage. Part way along this chosen route, Stephen hung a right and headed for higher ground. Gutter Tor was banded around as a suitable next target and once we were over the fence he was determined to put as much distance between himself (and his ever increasing foaming back passage) and the four colleagues that were being so supportive and concerned about his hilarious trail of white discharge.

Personally the next couple of miles of up hill saturated moorland were the most difficult I have endured for a long while. We all spent good periods of the next 45 minutes walking, pushing and swearing our way to the summit of Gutter Tor. It certainly gave my new Sealskin Socks (purchased by Mrs Allen from Rockin Bikes, Yelverton) a stern test.

When I finally reached the crest of Gutter Tor I found Mr Thompson with his arse pointed directly into an extremely stiff south westerly wind which, much to his delight, had blown all of the foam/discharge completely away. All that was left was a white tide mark on his winter tights.

Our efforts to this point were then rewarded with a reasonable descent to the Ditsworthy Warren House track where we turned left and headed for Burrator. Through Sheepstor village and right, up the short hill to take the road anticlockwise around the reservoir to Norsworthy Bridge. Here we hopped over the fence to take the root laden track along the edge of the swollen pond, back to the damn. Once here, Steve decided to branch left just past the damn with the intention of taking a short cut through Meavy and back to WP. We, however, know that he was heading straight to the bottom of the cascading overflowing landmark to shower, in private, to rid himself of the soapy mess that had left him looking as if he had just left a foam party in Rollerena!

The reaming four were left to head for Dousland, chuckling and shaking our heads at what we had just witnessed before splitting like the Red Arrows and heading back to the comfort of our cheese laden fridges and shower off with an enviable selection of recently received shower gels and "soaps on ropes".

Looking forward to riding with you all again next year and if you see the Meister out and about, please don't dip your head and cross the road. He's going to need all the help and support possible.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL.

Reporter: Paul