1st November 2011
Route: Iron Mine Lane, Lowrey Cross, Boneshaker,
Nun's Cross, Scout Hut, Earthquake,
Riders: Sam, Steve,
Keith, Paddy, Martyn, James Rob, Gidon & Nigel.
Depart WP: 19:40
Arrive HQ: 22:00
Distance: About 14.5 miles
Weather: Dry, mild, breezy
Look Janet! See the funny man on the bike!
The funny man has a friend, John. They are riding their bikes.
Yes, they are riding up the hill.
Look Janet. See the posh houses all in a row!
Oh yes John! They are nice houses
with nice gardens and nice mummies and daddies and nice children.
Oh Janet, the funny men have got more funny friends! Don't they
look funny in their lycra with their torches on their heads?
Yes John, they do. They look like silly torch-head men.
Ha ha! You are funny too Janet.
Why are the funny men standing around for so long John?
I don't think they know where to go Janet. Why don't they stop
being funny and go indoors to decorate like proper daddies?
Oh! Now they are cycling. Look at them go! Whizz, whizz go the
Yes! Whizzing men on whizzing bikes!
Its very dark isn't it? Perhaps that's why they are wearing
Maybe Janet. Oh what are they doing now? One funny man is going
much faster than the others. He is taking his bike on the mud
and grass. Silly, funny, whizzy man!
Now the other silly men are joining in! That looks hard. Why
don't they stay on the road like normal silly men on bicycles?
I think one of them said he didn't want to shave his legs Janet.
Me neither John. Though I do shave my...
Not now Janet. This is a children's story. Oh look. They are
stopping on a bridge near some more men with torches. Why do
the new men look grumpy Janet?
I think its because they can't afford shiny bicycles. Instead
they are playing at rescuing people for fun.
Oh. Like when we play doctors and nurses Janet?
Sort of...but with clothes on.
Oh. That doesn't sound as much fun. Look the bicycle men are
tring to climb up rocks on their bicycles. Silly men!
Yes, they are, aren't they? Listen. They are huffing and puffing.
Oh yes! Huff! Puff! Just like a steam train! But slower...
That one is going faster again. Do you think he has been taking
artificial banned substances like anabolic steroids or amphetamines?
Do you mean doping Janet? No. He's just fitter. Look. Now they
are all at the top of the hill.
Oh yes John! See how they are whizzing along again. But here's
another bumpy bit. And its uphill too.
It is too! Why do they keep going over the bumpy bits?
Hmmm...I don't know. Perhaps they like going over bumpy bits.
You like going over my bumpy bits don't you John?
Yes. It makes me huff and puff like the silly men too.
What are they doing now John?
Well, they are going through some puddles. That one at the front
doesn't like the puddles though. Look, he's going around them.
Oh yes. Why is he trying to bury his bike in the mud John? Doesn't
he like it? He's getting very dirty!
Silly, dirty, whizzy bicycle man! Look! Now some of the men
are going very fast down the hill. They are bouncing up and down,
up and down? They are smiling a lot! Do you like bouncing up
and down Janet?
Only with you John. It makes me smile too and gets me all out
of breath. But I feel dirty afterwards, just like the bicycle
Everyone's at the bottom now Janet. But they are splitting up.
Why? Oh one of the men wants to go home but the others won't
let him. They are taking him to the pub. Naughty men! What are
the others doing?
I think they are going to do more dirty, bouncing stuff all
together! Yes, see them go! It's very slippy and slidey down
there isn't it John?
Not 'arf Janet. But let's get back to the bicycle men. They
keep nearly falling off!
They are smiling a lot again.
They must like it when it's wet and slippery. Oh but now they
are back on the road again. That's
hard but smooth isn't it John?
You've noticed! Where are they going now? Oh they're off to
the pub too. I enjoyed watching the silly bicycle men, didn't
I did John. Shall we do it again soon?