Date: Tuesday 15th May 2012
Route: WP, Dry Rock, Lopwell, Beer Ferrers, Fishacre Wood, Denham, HQ.
Riders: Keith, Paddy, James, Julian, Gidon, Colin, Dan, Sam, Paul, Steve & Ben.
Depart WP: 19:45
Arrive HQ: 10:20
Distance: 16 miles
Weather: Dry, cool.

The Shitty Cube!

Although only my second week with the GOWCC’s I already feel very welcome and part of the squad. This was evidenced as we gradually assembled at WP and the more astute members noticed that the relic that I had turned up on last week was no more. It had been replaced by a spanking new Cube Ltd Comp purchased (unfortunately) in Cornwall. I received a number of comments, some complimentary some not so but all well received. This made me feel confident (how naïve) as we turned right out of WP and up to the BMX track. We were joined on this pleasant evening by a new rider, Ben. So I was no longer the new boy but clearly still the novice. Here we witnessed a brief power struggle (no names) due to the absence of The Routemeister. Without too much conflict, we took off towards “The Rock” heading for Lopwell. Previously unnoticed Trig Points and glorious views were observed along the trip to Lopwell as we dealt with a fallen tree and a number of gates along the way. The only downside to the pleasant descent was the obvious knowledge that after every down……

On arrival at Lopwell no time was wasted in traversing the dam, some through the ankle deep Tavy, some across the balance beam. We then turned right and took a curious little loop before heading upwards mostly by pedal but partly by foot. We were joined part way up by James which took the evenings compliment to twelve (I think). Further height was gained via the road before hanging a left and descending to Bere Ferrers via path, field and track. Somehow we were now back to eleven.

There then followed a tricky and smelly jaunt up the rivers edge where I crashed into the back of Colin for a third time. I must learn to leave two chevrons between me and the bike in front. Through the river and up the other side before hanging a right and into the woods. I need to point out to the various members of the group who very politely tried chatting to me as they passed me on this climb that I am neither ignorant or rude, just very unfit. I cannot multitask yet but this will hopefully follow soon. The woods proved the undoing of me and The Cube. Due to an inadequate light, a pair of jelly legs and brace of previously dormant lungs, I was struggling. It climaxed just as I approached the group about a mile into the woods. A mixture of indecision, lack of cleat experience and tired body resulted in a left off into a nice big muddy puddle. It shouldn’t actually be described as an off as I was still firmly connected to The Cube with both feet. Doh.

We clambered on for a bit longer before being rewarded with a nice bit of downhill. Part way down, The Pres and I (well, me, very honourably chaperoned by The Pres) opted for a less demanding descent while the balance (not sure of numbers by this stage) took the manly option to the bottom of the valley.

From Denham Bridge my wing man and I turned right and took the road up and then left to Buckland before heading through Crapstone on onward to HQ. This gave us the chance to confirm the ages and behaviours of our respective offspring before moving on to the far more important topic of our respective glittering football and rugby careers. We were the first two of the GOWCC into the newly refurbed Lounge at HQ where I personally made a bloody mess. There then followed a discussion on the various routes taken back to HQ by the squad. It turns out that James had a lucky escape as he went it alone through “bummers run”!

All that was left to do was for me to climb on to the unrecognisable Cube and be escorted down to Horrabridge by the very honourable KP before I hosed down and put to bed “The Cube” (after a reassuring chat and apology from me. It was my fault).

Reporter: Paul Allen

President's Footnote: Watching Paddy push his bike over Lopwell made me suspect that a repeat of his Golden Pants moment at Lopwell would be unacceptable by the pink chit issuer!!!