Date: Tuesday 2nd November 2010
Route: WP, Gratton, Cadover, Clay Pits, Drakewells, Cann Wood, HQ.
Riders: Das Routemeister, Westy, James, Stevie B, Paddy, Nick & Martyn.
Depart: 19:35
Arrive HQ: 22:30
Distance: 21½ miles - exactly!!
Weather: warm most in summer gear


Ummm what's that smell? There's something new in the air.... Est ce que une nouveau eau de gris? une parfume d'oile? There was an expectant noisy silence and there she was ... was SHE something Specialized?

No longer can we tell Nick is in the vicinity..... no longer a clink or a squeak. The first time you know Nick is about is when he's there on your shoulder on his virginal white carbon hardtail bought with discount from Certini's. The discount bit cheapens the whole thing - this new lithe thing on the block, is a slender classy model which likens other bikes out that evening to Katie Price (aka Jordan), Joan Rivers and Vanessa Feltz. Still beauty is only skin deep, can she do the business, how does she ride? Tonight was to be a good test.

The group set off on a balmy November evening heading for Cadover via Gratton Bridge and Hill. SHE - was just loosening up....toying with us as we all puffed, panted and f*rted our way up the the first of a number of big climbs for the evening, SHE floated sedately not having to prove anything just yet. The routemeister as usual set the pace with Katie P trying hard not to be knocked off top spot where she so obviously likes to be.

It seemed like it was going to be a dry ride that, SHE was not even going to break out with any sign of moisture but then we went off road and SHE was about to be tested. Boggy moor was followed by many puddles and deep soft ruts as we skirted the china clay pits. Thommo, Paddy and James rode ahead, their technical expertise coming to the fore.

What of the new bird? Well SHE let herself down badly, she tripped in a rut, sending Nick flying through the air and in the process showed us her bulbous bottom bracket - the tart. Anyhow with modesty recovered Nick remounted and we headed down the tricky descent to the Lee Moor - Cornwood Road crossing. Onward we rode via Hemerdon to Drakewalls and then more road to Cann Woods with a couple of slippy descents and steep climbs in between. It seems like ages since we had last ridden the testy little single track to the kissing gate at Plym Bridge. Katie P reverting to Jordan had a hissy fit, too many of the boys were riding with HER the Bitch. Jordan baulked at a dyke and set Steve into flight making sure he was temporarily nobbled in inappropriate areas.

From the gate, it was more or less a straight ride back home....no fuss just a pace that started comfortably, but a pace that was gradually cranked up by the Routemeister on the invigorated Jordan until all were dropped from his tail. This despite him completing an arduous sportive - the Exmoor Beast on the previous Sunday. A Gold medal winner with Greg (well would Katie wear anything else?).

Anyhow we riders arrived back a HQ in dribs and drabs at around about 10:20. SHE arrived a little later than most, escorted by a man on a steely Orange. Dunno what went on ....perhaps SHE had to powder her nose. SHE didn't stay around too long either - had to get home to remove the mud pack and keep up the beauty sleep. Whats the verdict on her? The jury's out but Jordan doesn't care ... she's still the top ride at least for tonight.

Reporter: Westy